Vince Gill - Go Rest High On That Mountain

MY MAIN MAN

MAY...

May is the cruelest month that i have yet to see,

DOUGLAS BRICE MCKINNEY...25 YEARS OLD

it brings with it the memories of things that cannot be,
i gaze upon the flowers all coming back to life,
the baby birds encountering their very first real flight,
the beauty of the new growth surrounds me everywhere,
yet all that i can feel is a pain i cannot bear,
the flowers that you planted are taller than they were,
i wish that you could see them now,
how beautiful they are,
i stole a picture of them,
with you between them both,
i hope you do not mind,son,
but my heart is forever broke...

A heavy hearted day...

I sit here today and wonder where my life is going... Does anybody really know?... I guess God knows... I live every day with this pain that seems to consume me... Everything I look at reminds me of you...the steps across the street... the bus stop on the corner... my computer chair where you always sat... The table where you ate at.. im so very anxiuos to get out of this country! Then I will no longer see you with every step I take... although I know that this pain will be forever with me... and so it should... to lose the pain would be to lose you again... I will take the mini urn that I have so that you will always be with me while we travel around the world... I will take you to the places you always wanted to see... I hope God shows you how much I love you and always will.... But I dont wish you to see the devastation that was caused by losing you.. I want you to be happy and at peace now... i know you wouldnt be if you knew how I struggle each day with my very existance... do you suppose all Mothers feel this way when they lose their child?... My boy,you are my son yet my best friend too... I was so very very lucky to have known a gentle man such as you... I love you more than even God could show you... Rest my sweet sweet boy....Mommy will be there soon one day...

My Boy...

I loved my boy, the world could see
I did not know what was to be
He laughed, he played, he grew so strong
I could not know what would go wrong
God trusted me to do him right...
Yet I did not hear his pleading plight...
I failed my son...can you not see?
I do not want my life to be...
Without my boy it seems so wrong...
For my life to continue on...
He was so special...I know that, 
but does the world know thats a fact?
He had three siblings that he loved dear...
God, let them know that he is always near?
He visits me in my memories...
I see his ghost...
Oh!  I can see!
A mother's love is so very strong!
How can it turn out so damn wrong?!
I miss my boy more than words can say...
The pain gets worse with every day...
I do not understand this, God...
Please dont let this continue on...
Let Sarah know you loved her dear...
And that no other ever came near
She was the one, God told you so...
She always held your very soul...
Let those you touched, be forever changed...
My "Main Man" always you will remain...